Frito's 2010 New Year's Resolutions

If you know me from MyCatSpace, you know that the crazy cat lady with whom I live has pretty high, generally ridiculous, expectatations of the cats in the house. She wants us to be expressive, to be artistic and she also expects us to examine our "inner cat" to live above and beyond a basic furball existence.

Anyway--to make a longer story more reasonable, the other cats and I are required to compose an annual listing of resolutions, or self improvement goals for the year. I listed mine over on MCS with the Dumb Dumb Fluff and the girls--but, I thought it would be a good post here to sort of get me focused for the New Year. Here goes. The other cats and I give the Mom lady a list (which I've noted below in bold)…You will see the edits and my personal thoughts on each resolution in italics. Find my "inner cat"....crazy human.

Frito’s List
Lose More Weight. I will lose 8 pounds before my next physical at the vet.
I am pretty darned proud of myself. I lost 1.4 pounds last year. So what if my vet lost about 25—she had a baby--twins I think! It made things easy for her! As I’ve mentioned, I am mostly MAINE COON. I’m FLUFFY..Fluff is not lost by daily consumption of canned mouse ears or whatever pet food composite can be found in the bag of "diet food". If I lose 8 pounds, it would be like hacking up a normal sized cat in a hairball. Ridiculous. I will aim for 2 pounds. No more. I expect, unless the vet is set to drop two more kids, she'll be back up to her less than ideal weight by my next physical. She wasn't eating canned mouse ears the last time I saw her.

Exercise.
I will engage in exercise. I hate that dog. I will participate in the daily running of the puppy. I will chase him at every waking opportunity. I will sock him in that overgrown hound dog snout at every sniff. For the record, I still think he’s a fitness trainer in a foxhound suit.

I will be nice to Max the Dog
Are you kidding? See the last resolution.

I will not swat Human Grandma Lady when she comes to visit.
I will not swat Grandma every time she comes to visit. And I will only bite her on the occasional third Sunday of the month. That way she'll have good odds of visiting on a non-biting weekend. I think that’s fair.

I will catch a mouse.
This was on my list last year and it didn’t happen then either. Me catch a mouse? Hell no. I will let Fluffy D’Tail catch any mouse he wants without interference from me in any form!

I am sure that the crazy human lady expected more from me. I am the pillar of the house and all--but, I am just one cat. (Being the size of two cats does not require that I be held to a higher moral standard.

Oh--and on my own note--I plan to write more in 2010. The human lady needs to set some priorities around here. If she wants me to be the rock--she'd better kick out some of the time sponging pebbles around here and give me some computer time.

If you want to see the other cats' resolutions, you can check out our profile on MyCatSpace. We are Fritoandthegirls.

Happy New Year!

Sociable