Security in the House of Frito

Okay--why do most human morons buy a dog? Dogs are personal protectors, right? Hmmpf. I guess the people that use dogs for property protection have never met OUR dog. See Max, the Face of Stupid, is a useless pound hound who's afraid of his own shadow....and the garbage truck...and the garage door...and black hooded sweatshirts...and, oh, yeah, Gina--the five pound cat. OOOOOH! It's a scary world here in Frito Land. I only bring this up because the humans had four perfectly happy cats--then they adopted a dog, for which we can only assume was for protection, and NOW they are talking about needing a security system...

WHAT? Our cat food budget does not allow for an expensive security system!

Could someone explain to me why we need this flea carrying, slobber wielding, vaccuum powered snout of a hound dog if the humans think they need an alarm system? He's stupid, he smells, he needs a sitter, he can't go outside by himself, and he sleeps at least 23 hours a day.

Oh, I get it now...we only really need a security system for the twenty three hours that the face of stupid sleeps. Oh, God...I just realized something--rather than bemoaning the cost of a security system--I should embrace it. The alternative is 23 other worthless pound hounds working one hour security shifts in the House of Frito.

Okay--time to get some security company recommendations. What do you know about security monitoring companies that are sensitive to lean cat food budgets?