One Fat Cat With a Blog

Okay, conservative cats—before you go wrapping your tails around your eyes and ears, I’m not talking about THAT kind of pole dancing. If I was talking about that, then the old human mom lady certainly wouldn’t have been as actively participating this morning…the world does not need that kind of entertainment. Trust me. The girls and I got the laugh of the morning when the crazy lady took the pound hound out for his morning stroll. The weather gave us a layer of ice last night and apparently humans and hound dogs aren’t as sure footed as we felines.

The Face of Stupid hit the steps and the sidewalk first—literally. The stupid dog went bounding out the front door right on his face. Luckily for the crazy lady that this happened, because that little misstep slowed him down just enough that she was able to stay upright until she could grab onto the rose bush. Yes. The giant four foot, sticky sticker filled rose bush was a better option than a repeat of the broken tail bone two years ago. This was an utter shock to me and the girls since we did not realize humans had a purpose for a starter tail!

Well, the rose bush is the last point of balance and stability before one reaches the street with mailboxes and street light poles. Hee hee…oh, it was another Looney Tunes inspired morning. Remember when Bugs Bunny was “helping” Yosemite Sam find gold that time. He’d do somersaults and cartwheels and get that crazy look in his eye. You would have thought the lady found gold all the way down the driveway—until the Face of Stupid pulled her into and ALL THE WAY around a street light pole about seven times.

We are not experts in the art of pole dancing—but, if it were an Olympic event we would have given her a 7, 8 and a 9 respectively for technique and creativity. Costume was a little off (we think the droopy sweat pants and 30 pound winter coat may has stifled movement). We even gave the Face of Stupid a 6 for his creative belly slides and side rolls.

I would encourage you to the watch the news in Central Ohio today—I bet there’s lots of creative ice maneuvers out there on video. I wish I had a camera and thumbs with which to operate it this morning, let me tell you.

Be safe; don’t let your humans break any hips. Remember, this may make it easier to be a lap cat—but, trust me; it will be harder to get fed.

This could possibly go down as the first stupid human trick for February in the House of Frito.