Spring Cleaning Trauma Zone

The humans have been on a Spring Cleaning, “rid the house of grey fur” mission for over a week now. If you’ve seen pictures of my kitty family then you know that grey fur is where it’s at around here. The little white psycho cat even has grey and black splotches of fur! I will admit that there was a lot of grey fur hanging around after the winter.

Last Monday the crazy human lady discovered that the motor was ka-put on yet another vacuum cleaner. She goes through a couple a year—and this one’s number was past being up, so we weren’t sure why she was surprised or irritated by this. Sometimes humans just get ticked by the small stuff. Example: Empty food bowl for 8 hours=big stuff. Noisy sweeper not making noise=not so big.

She got a new sweeper. Of course, it’s louder, scarier and far more traumatic for us than the old one. I personally despise vacuum cleaners. When I was younger—and smaller—I had a favorite nap spot under the oldest human kid’s bed. There were often stuffed animals under there…the occasional dust bunny…even a few milk bottle rings that had gone astray. It was a cool place. Very rarely does the Dad-Human take on sweeper duty—but, when he does, anything that he deems insignificant (i.e. Barbie shoes, checkers, game pieces, etc.) that gets in range gets sucked up—and if it’s too big for the attachment hose, he says it’s easier to pick up from the end of the hose than from the floor. Dads. Who understands them? He was sweeping away and I was sleeping away in the kid’s room one Saturday. Next thing I knew, Dad mistook MY tail for a stuffed animal tail and tried to pick me up from under the edge of the bed with his handy dandy attachment. Woke me up, I’ll tell you! The Dad-human thought it was hilarious. Frito find it funny? Not so much. (Gave Gina first time permission to launch Covert Operation P in Dad’s laundry basket)

Needless to say, I hate sweepers—and when Dad’s at the controls, I head for higher ground every time. We cats think they wouldn’t need to sweep things constantly if those crazy humans would just buy something besides WHITE, Off White, Beige and tan. Carpet, every piece of furniture, rugs, blah! They wouldn’t even know the fur was there if they would just go grey!

Furniture should be required to match the cats—then everyone would be at peace. I’ve been told that cat fur brings good luck, you know. This is one lucky house, let me tell you! I just heard that Dad’s home today. Hopefully he’ll go mow something down in the yard and not in the living room! Just in case, I think I’ll sleep up on the back of the sofa today….need to start the graying process on the furniture again anyway!